I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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