I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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