she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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