whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize