Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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