you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize