just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize