i just wanna soil my oats bro
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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