She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
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Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize