i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
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Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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