I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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