But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
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Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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