Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize