apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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