the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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