i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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