Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize