i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize