So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize