WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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