Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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