I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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