apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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