Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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