If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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