I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize