dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize