Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize