it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.