I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.