Texts From Last Night · tokio's Favorites

tokio's Favorites Texts:

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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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(732): That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/7vfy

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(410): View more from Maryland

Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

(1-410): View more from Maryland

How come I never meet celebrities?

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(410): Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield" (1-410): How come I never meet celebrities? http://tfl.nu/j09q

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.

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(732): I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time. http://tfl.nu/5sl5

Replies (7) Good night (5173) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

i would one night stand the shit outta him

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(443): i would one night stand the shit outta him http://tfl.nu/aljg

Replies (11) Good night (5472) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.

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(415): sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/mg5e

Replies (21) Good night (5760) Bad night (1398) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

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(703): I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/n7jh

Replies (23) Good night (5463) Bad night (1741)
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(951): View more from California

His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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(951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8

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(618): View more from Illinois

There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.

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(618): There's an australian, my relationship has no hope. http://tfl.nu/z5vt

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.

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(402): The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier. http://tfl.nu/7vbg

Replies (8) Good night (675) Bad night (3187)
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(316): View more from Kansas

So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That sounds dangerous

(316): View more from Kansas

Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.

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(316): So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses (1-316): That sounds dangerous (316): Don't worry......were wearing oven mits. http://tfl.nu/woxn

Replies (9) Good night (4370) Bad night (776)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

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(250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi

Replies (39) Good night (11622) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?

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(662): Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened? http://tfl.nu/nd5l

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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(734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl

Replies (118) Good night (37787) Bad night (1292)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

where's my purse there's an important taco in it

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(908): where's my purse there's an important taco in it http://tfl.nu/d9zq

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(917): View more from New York City

the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.

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(917): the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there. http://tfl.nu/q6gx

Replies (30) Good night (4929) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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(408): View more from California

I don't have enough holes for all these australians

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(408): I don't have enough holes for all these australians http://tfl.nu/dq24

Replies (13) Good night (5769) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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(+54): View more from

look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.

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(+54): look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels. http://tfl.nu/ux1z

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(+61): View more from Australia

He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

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(+61): He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him... http://tfl.nu/efrg

Replies (36) Good night (5952) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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(808): Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet? http://tfl.nu/bi9l

Replies (20) Good night (5335) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt

tokio's Favorites Texts:

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