Texts From Last Night · sinep's Favorites

sinep's Favorites Texts:

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(847): View more from Illinois

i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.

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(803): I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene. http://tfl.nu/fj0l

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(609): View more from New Jersey

One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.

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(609): One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em. http://tfl.nu/70jy

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(352): View more from Florida

She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

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(352): She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all. http://tfl.nu/8svu

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

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(973): I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like. http://tfl.nu/4kjo

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(914): View more from New York

my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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(914): my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet http://tfl.nu/lao3

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

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(306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation". http://tfl.nu/h2mq

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(216): View more from Ohio

Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

(440): View more from Ohio

Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

(216): View more from Ohio

Holy shit r u serious? How?

(440): View more from Ohio

Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

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(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo

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(305): View more from Florida

I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.

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(305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming. http://tfl.nu/oxhe

Replies (139) Good night (1619) Bad night (37770)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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(902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h

Replies (136) Good night (7274) Bad night (55224)
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(619): View more from California

just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

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(619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room http://tfl.nu/3g7q

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(310): View more from California

ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

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(310): ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude. http://tfl.nu/5a88

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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.

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(816): Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower. http://tfl.nu/cq6t

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