haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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