No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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