She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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