Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
God, I missed his penis.
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