Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
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We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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