Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize