Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize