This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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