is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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