What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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