He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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