Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I could fuck to npr.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize