Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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