There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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