I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize