There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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