Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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