Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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