Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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