I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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