Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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